We all have different ways of dealing with grief and loss – some of us tend to shut down and grieve in silence with only our loved one’s memories to sustain us, whilst others take comfort in the presence of other people. Regardless of how you choose to grieve, one thing’s for sure – you need all the love and support you can get, be it directly or indirectly.
But you still have to deal with your loved one’s funeral – and it could be stressful and nerve-wracking, to say the least. Good thing there is lots of support to be had – foremost of which is the support of an experienced and competent funeral director. They can provide you with the help you need in several ways, from placing the obituary to giving you enough time to prepare. But how else can they be of service? Here’s how they can help you during a time of grief.
Give you enough time for preparation
It wasn’t so long ago that funerals were held only a few days after a death, as it was only reasonable and feasible to do it that way. But today, it takes a bit longer to arrange a funeral, give or take several weeks. This is because your family member or the deceased will be kept in a suitable place, and funeral directors have the appropriate facilities which allow them to take total care of the person until the burial. It then gives you ample time to prepare for the funeral and enables you to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.
Place obituaries and notices
As mentioned, one of the main tasks of a funeral director is to place obituaries and notices of death in newspapers and newsletters. The good part is that they will have contacts in such publications to make publishing easier. In addition, certain funeral directors can place obituaries online, and this is also where the deceased’s family and friends can light candles and leave prayers and messages.
Get in touch with celebrants
Along with publishing notices of death and obituaries, the funeral director, because of the nature of their business, will have a host of contacts with your town’s celebrants, no matter what the deceased person’s religious leanings were. With their help, you should be able to find a celebrant, and this celebrant can lead or host the funeral. Oftentimes, the person who passed will already know the celebrant chosen by your funeral director, which works out very well indeed.
Give you advice regarding rules/regulations
We all know that cremation and burial have specific regulations, and these rules have to be followed at all times. This is particularly true with the specs regarding the coffin, as www.carrollandcarrollfunerals.co.uk, leading funeral directors in Leeds, know very well. Another fact worth noting, for example, is if you opt for a green burial. The sites used for green burials have set rules for the type of coffin it allows, but your funeral director should be well-versed about this and help you select an appropriate coffin according to the requirements.
Assist you when it comes to the paperwork and documentation
Whilst it’s true that they will not be able to submit the paperwork for you (in most instances, it is only the deceased’s family members/friends who can do that), they can at least give you advice on where to start. There will be plenty of paperwork to contend with – and the process involves numerous forms – which your funeral director can fill in or advise you on filling incorrectly.
Help you make the best decisions
It can be exceedingly difficult to make decisions, especially as you’re trying your best to cope with grief and loss at the same time. It is another fact that makes funeral directors invaluable and a veritable God-send – they can advise you on the best decisions to make since they know the ins and outs of the business. If you are having trouble deciding on the flowers, the memorial, or anything else, they can give you the right advice, and they can walk you through each option and give you an explanation of why that option works best. At the end of the day, however, it’s yours and your family’s choice – but your funeral director will make the process easier and more doable.
Make sure your loved one is well-taken care of
For most of us, taking care of the details is secondary to taking care of our loved ones. In other words, we want our loved ones to be laid out well, with nothing out of place. You would often have to view the deceased before others have had a chance to view them, and you would want to make sure your friends and family can say goodbye.
If you wish to have a private viewing with a few close friends and family, you can choose a funeral parlor with a ‘chapel of rest’ where you can say goodbye in privacy. But before your loved one is viewed, they will prepare them by washing them and dressing them, brushing them and applying makeup, and taking note of your wishes. Your funeral director and their team will make sure that your loved one is suitably prepared for viewing and is presented in a positive light.
Provide you with support on the day itself
When all is said and done, and your funeral director has performed according to your expectations and more, they have one final role: making sure that all goes well on the day itself. They will not only help you with the funeral arrangements – but they will also be there on the day of the funeral to ensure that things run smoothly. They will make sure the transportation is on time, for example, and will direct mourners to where they are supposed to go. Last but certainly not least, the funeral director can also serve as a shoulder to cry on to make the day easier to bear.