100+ [Best] Funny Captions for Instagram (2020)

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  • I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
  • Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.
  • Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  • I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny!
  • I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
  • Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
  • Dear Lord… please give me some patience NOW…NOW…NOW….
  • I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
  • How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
  • The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

english funny status

  • Friday is my second favorite F word.
  • It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
  • If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
  • BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.
  • I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
  • Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
  • You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.

Make a Hilarious Tag for Selfies

  • God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
  • Who cares, I’m awesome.
  • Eat, sleep, click, repeat.
  • I’m different, fuck your opinion.
  • Look behind you see any eager faces, waiting for your next post? I thought not.
  • Remember when you were better than me ?.. Ans: ya neither do I.
  • Look dope chic, spice and so nice.
  • I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
  • I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  • I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
  • I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
  • I am not fat, I am just… easier to see.
  • I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
  • I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. I’m Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
  • There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking. So we meet again…
  • If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
  • Warning – You might fall in love with me.
  • I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute.
  • What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
  • If being hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
  • I just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
  • People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
  • If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
  • Silence is the best answer to all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately, both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
  • I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
  • Nothing is illegal until you get caught
  • If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
  • I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
  • Born free, taxed to death.
  • Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 15
  • Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?

Friendship Quotes for Your Favorite Companions

  • Let’s just stay friends = never talk again.
  • I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
  • People are people but my fellows are really fellows.
  • Not all the best moments are created with the one you love, some are created with true friends, a blissful beach, and some beer for sure!
  • You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
  • Finding friends with the same mental disorder is priceless.
  • I hope you dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies.
  • People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
  • Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
  • Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
  • I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
  • We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.
  • Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
  • As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure is going to happen.
  • Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into your house and start eating.
  • A friend in need of a friend to be avoided.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, Oh my friend you to a zoo.
  • I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
  • Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
  • When you fall I will be ready to catch you- with love, floor.
  • Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
  • Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
  • Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
  • Do you actually have friends? Ans: Yeah, bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
  • The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
  • I’m usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now
  • Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
  • Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  • You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

For Playful Couples

  • Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
  • You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
  • With great girlfriend comes great expenses.
  • Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
  • Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married
  • My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
  • Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.

Be strong in breakups

  • I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.

Cute Engagement captions

  • One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

Relationship Quotes for Him

  • I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
  • I m a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you.
  • Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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Also, check out

According to this site, including funny captions here and there on your posts, along with proper hashtagging could be very useful for increasing the popularity of your profile on social media.

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